Born a Girl… and I Ruined Mom's Master Plan 🤪

From this Instagram post

80년대 서울에서 벌어진 제 이야기입니다.

This is my story from Seoul in the 1980s.

40년 전, 한국 부모들은 여자아이를 원하지 않았어요. 여자는 시집을 가면 시댁 사람이 되어 ‘남’이 되었어요. 그래서 부모들은 아들이 꼭 있어야 한다고 생각했어요.

Forty years ago, Korean parents didn’t want girls. When a woman got married, she became part of her husband’s family and was considered an "outsider." That’s why parents believed they absolutely needed a son.

그때는 임신 중에 아이의 성별을 알 수 없었어요. 그래서 임신 기간 내내 남자아이가 태어나길 기도하다가 여자아이가 태어나면 우리 엄마처럼 울었어요. 😭

At that time, people couldn’t find out their baby’s gender during pregnancy. So, they would spend the entire pregnancy praying for a boy, only to cry—just like my mom did—if a girl was born.

[Note] This preference for male children is called 남아선호사상 (男兒選好思想), which literally translates to “the ideology of preferring sons.”

우리 엄마는 게다가 슬픈 가족사가 있어서 아들이 있어야 보호받을 수 있다고 생각했어요.

On top of that, my mom had a sad family history, so she believed she needed a son to be protected.

제가 태어난 날에 엄마가 눈알이 빠지도록 울었던 이유는 이미 딸이 있었기 때문이에요.

The reason my mom cried her eyeballs out on the day I was born was that she already had a daughter.

Mom, my older sister “Donald,” and me

아빠가 애를 둘 이상은 키울 수 없다고 해서, 제가 마지막 기회였는데 여자로 태어났어요. 😆

My dad had said he couldn’t raise more than two kids, so I was her last chance—but I was born a girl.

from Chapter 15 of my novel <My Future Sister-In-Law> Vol. 2

80~90년대에 아이가 2명 넘게 있는 집들은 대부분 막내가 아들이었어요.

In the 1980s and 1990s, most families with more than two children had a son as their youngest.

Many parents kept having children in order to have a son

하지만 현재는 상황이 완전히 바뀌었어요. 많은 한국 부모들이 아들보다 딸을 원해요.

But now, the situation has completely changed. Many Korean parents prefer daughters over sons.

이유는 다양하겠지만, 딸들은 부모에게 평생 다정하고 아들은 결혼 후 부모에게 별 신경 안 쓴다는 인식이 그 이유 중 하나입니다.

The reasons vary, but one common belief is that daughters remain affectionate toward their parents for life, whereas sons become less attentive after getting married.

우리 엄마도 아들이 없는 걸 다행으로 여기고 있어요.

Even my mom now considers it a blessing that she doesn’t have a son.

엄마의 생각은 바뀌었지만, 언니의 이름은 바뀌지 않았습니다. 여전히 Donald입니다. 😱

My mom’s mindset has changed, but my older sister’s name hasn’t. She’s still “Donald.”

언니 이름이 남자 이름인 것은...

The reason she has a male name is...

저를 남자로 태어나게 하기 위한 엄마, 아빠, 그리고 어떤 이상한 전문가(?!)의 거대한 계획이었는데…

It was a master plan orchestrated by my mom, dad, and some mysterious expert (?!) to make sure I was born a boy…

To be continued in the next blog post

단어 Words

부모 parents

아들 son

딸 daughter

여자아이 girl (child)

남자아이 boy (child)

임신 pregnancy

성별 gender

막내 youngest child

This is a newsletter I sent on March 7th, 2025.

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